Home

There are a lot of songs about going home--I realized this when making the most recent long jaunt from the Twin Cities to North Dakota. Last year, I joined the 21st century and bought an iPod--best purchase EVER! The thing holds tons of music, and every time I make the pilgrimage to see my boyfriend and other friends, I put some new tunes on it.

Last month when I went up north, I loaded up with Neil Young. He's got this song, "Country Home", that brought tears to my eyes; the lyrics read,

I'm thankful for my country home
It gives me peace of mind
Somewhere I can walk alone
And leave myself behind.

At the moment, that was my truth. I get tired from living amongst so many people, few of whom will look at each other and smile, and feeling overwhelmed by the chaos. I need a breather. I'm grateful for those I know it North Dakota because they make me feel at home, and I can relax and begin to see life for what it is: living. Not working, not worrying, not running--although all of these are facets of life. It's tiring to feel like this is all one does in a space, and it's a blessing to have a place to get away from it all.

When we speak on the phone, my friends in NoDak ask when I'll be coming home. The first time I heard this, I had to pause--and broke out in the biggest grin. Home. Yes, I do consider North Dakota my home. As my boyfriend reminds me, "Home is where the heart is." My heart is in the Twin Cities--with my mother, family, and friends--and up north, with my boyfriend and other friends. Another place I am home is amongst the trees near the ocean in CA, but I haven't been to that home for many years. I'll have an opportunity this summer when I go out to see Neil Young perform at the Hollywood Bowl and take a few days to hike/camp along the coast.

So for this jaunt, I've loaded up with Jim Croce, whose biography (written by his wife) I just finished. This time, I may be leaning against the road's shoulder, awash with tears. This will be one of the last trips of the year I'll be able to make.